That Is What She Can Be Like

Everything is done. That's what she feels now. It was way better than she expected, and she is satisfied about everything happened that day. There are lots of small stories she wants to record, but I know she won't release it here because she'd not feel so comfortable showing those treasures to random people. She keeps them in her heart basically, and only her good friends get to share them.


Basically what she wants to tell is, "Just a little thing can make her the happiest girl on the earth".

That was what she didn't expect that she would feel again.
Now she knows she get the feeling again sometime in the future.
So, this article is just for giving herself a clue to remember about that specific day that was very special for her.



She did something she believes it brought small happiness to him.

He did something to her and it warmed her heart.

However, she didn't let something happen even she wanted it badly.

There was a rule and she knew she would get hurt and regret if she came over the line.



I believe, if there is what is called proud woman, that's what she wants to be :)
So, even if she cries sometimes, I believe that she is strong and can grab the happiness by herself.
Because, I know now she knows she doesn't have to try hard standing by her own feet anymore when she has someone to rely on.

When things happen, they just happen. You can't control everything, so it's better to stay calm and let them happen.

Encounter in Swayambhunath

Monkey Temple locates on a hill. There is a lot of steps that you have to go up to reach to the temple from the gate in the bottom, and I saw monkeys everywhere around the steps. Walking up, I noticed that a local guy was following me. He said hello to me and seemed that he wanted to talk to me. I didn't really care about him firstly, but when I got close to the ticket counter, there were two tourists having a quarrel with the ticket seller. I could go forward, but for some reason, stepped back and took a rest at a landing. Then, the guy who was following me came up and spoke to me again. When he started talking about some stories, he finally caught my attention.

What he talked about was,

The history of the temple
About the meal Nepali people eat
Education problem in Nepal
etc.

So, at that time, I found out why the restaurant was empty. They have breakfast and dinner but lunch! Late in the daytime, they have some snacks and tea, but it's not during what we call lunch time! That's why there was no one in the restaurant when I had lunch today! (However, I still wonder why there were even no tourists...)

Hari, the local guy, told me about himself as well and it was a kind of shocking thing. He told me he has never been to school (He is around my age), even to an elementary school, because he is the 5th of the 6 children in the family. It's pretty common for general families there, that only one child (Mostly the first child) goes to school but the others because they can't afford it. He told me he learned English by himself by working for tourists from abroad. His oldest brother is the only child who went to school in the family and works for government now...it's a very honor thing. On the other hand, Hari had been working in a factory since he was a kid. Who can imagine such a thing as one of those general people who were educated normally in Japan if you haven't traveled somewhere like Nepal...I found the life of local people in there is much tougher compared to ours.

However, Hari seemed he was enjoying what he did. He likes talking to tourists, and that was exactly why he spoke to me. He asked me if I tried local booze and I told him I had Everest beer last night. He mentioned about local whiskey and asked me if I wanted to try. Why not? So, I decided to follow him to grab some drink...without forgetting swearing to myself that I would escape if I feel any danger, lol.

That's one of the things I enjoy while traveling alone...which I have to be careful about :P

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Having Lunch At An Empty Restaurant

Coming back from Boudhanath, I went toward Durbar Square. However, I passed there soon and went to the Jhochhen St. which locates beside there. Why? ---Because, I was hungry. It was pretty good time for having lunch. I went into a restaurant, and ordered a plate. Waiting at the table I felt so weird, because in such a nice daytime, there was just me and a person who was working at the restaurant. Later, in the evening of the day, I got to know why it was like that...

Anyway, the food was good. I became full without finishing it and finally started sightseeing in the square. I took a look of the market, buildings, and started wondering where to go next. Then I looked at the map, and decided to go to Swayambunath Stupa, which locals call Monkey Temple :) I remembered that the person of the taxi told me he would take me there by his motorcycle, but didn't try to contact him because I knew I would feel not so comfortable going somewhere with him alone, and also I don't mind walking...actually I enjoy it as long as I'm not tired.

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Amazing Woman

When something doesn't go well, it doesn't go well anyways however you struggle. The timing takes a great part for the success as well, but even you wait until the right time comes, and try again when you find it, you can't get the result you want every time.
I've been saying that,

Liking someone is a miracle.
If the person likes you back, and having a relationship, it's a super miracle.

I think I collapsed the super miracle. I thought I should have learned something from my past experiences, and became a better person. However, I realized I haven't gotten better as I wanted and made the same mistakes again. I don't say it was just about my side, but if both people could be flexible and tried a little bit more to get close to the other person's side, there would have been a different way...or probably the same after all?

One thing is, I concentrated on standing with just my own feet too much. This relationship was different from my any other past from the beginning because of it. Trying not to show my weakness and wanted to look independent, maybe I missed something important. Probably, I should have depended on him sometime but I didn't...maybe I was scared as well, and it was also because I know I suck at it.

Probably, I was the one who hurt the person. Even I swore I was telling the very truth, and very honest feelings I had, he didn't believe me. Personally, I don't like telling lies so I actually don't. I'm also very serious about things, which can be my good point, but also can be a bad point. Obviously, it worked as a latter this time...or maybe every time at the similar situation in the past. I didn't want to hurt anyone but maybe my action made him suspicious. Even the person was unique for me in some points, I should have faced them since I'm with the only person but others. I think I measured those things only with my measure, and it was too late when I noticed that he had another one that was way different from mine.

Maybe there was no other results in the end sooner or later. If I take it positively, I say, it was good that I got into such a super miracle situation I thought I would never go through again, touched someones sweetness, and got a chance to face myself again. As I mentioned just now, I admit I'm too serious at the time that he or most people don't think I have to be, and it actually makes things even worse sometimes. However, the words my friend said saved me a bit.

"You were serious because you treated it as a precious thing."

I wonder if she noticed that I was about to weep at that time :) Yes, I was serious all the time because I took it as a special thing.

There is still a long long way to become a matured amazing woman I want to be.